Only When I stop To think About It
by furuba14
Summary: Peter starts to feel feelings he wishes he hadn't. One shot.
1. Chapter 1

Only When I stop to Think About it

Disclaimer: Don't own Degrassi. Nuff said!

Notes: This takes place before Man with Two Hearts, so it's got plenty of spoilers. Only read if you want to know what might happen. I also wrote this because I think there should be more peter centric stories and now that Darcy's gone, he can develop more as a character.

A guy can think about another guy without being gay, right? I think about Riley Stavros, the new student at Degrassi a lot. He's smart, cool, athletic, hot… Wait what did I just say?! He is not

hot, not to me anyway. Sometimes, though when we're in class together, he gives me a bunch of weird looks, like he's interested in me. Maybe he just wants to hang out, which I'd love to do, believe me. Sav and Danny are good friends and great to hang out with, but I see Riley differently. I feel like I could talk to him about stuff I can't talk to Sav or Danny about. I could talk to him about girls, sports, and Mia. I hope Riley will like me.

I meant to add as a friend, a really good friend who wants to-. Oh boy, I'm screwed!


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two: All the Things He Said

Dear Journal:

I really hope Riley is okay. I think he likes me a lot, but he's afraid to admit it though. I could he liked me because of the way he kissed me. It was very brief, but it felt so good.

No, no it didn't because it was weird and gross and… Oh, whom am I kidding? It was incredible! It was the best kiss I've had in a long time and I couldn't tell him that. I couldn't tell him that because I like girls and only girls, specifically Mia. I don't know what's happened to me. I remember everything he said to me, I don't remember all the things Mia said. Please Riley, let me be a part of your life somehow; let me help you because I can't help myself now.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three: Secret Valentine

Dear Journal:

I just spent Valentine's Day with Mia, the girl I love. Thing is, I still can't stop thinking about Riley. I feel like such a hypocrite because I'm telling him to come out but I can't. How can I come out when I don't even know what I am? I've never liked guys before Riley, and I'm pretty sure I still like girls. All I know is that I wanted to spend Valentine's Day with Riley, and that I'm falling pretty hard for him right now. So hard, I'm afraid I'm going to crash if I don't do something about it.


	4. Chapter 4

My Bad Medicine

After I found out Riley was taking steroids, I did some research on side effects, and they were even worse than I thought. I'm glad he quit taking them, because he could've died just to maintain his "straight" image. Maybe now he'll come out. I don't think there's any chance we can be together, though. He's just coming out, and he shouldn't be rushed into anything. He's not ready for a relationship with a man and neither am I. I'm still confused, and I know that being with a guy is not like being with a girl. So that's how it'll be. I'll be with Mia and Riley will be out, maybe someday with someone else. If only my heart and my brain were on the same page.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5: First Time for Everything

Dear Journal:

A year after we kissed, I told him the truth. How I felt, how much I wanted him, and that I might be falling in love with him. No, scratch that. I was falling in love with him. He didn't say anything, he just kissed me. A long, hot, passionate, deep kiss that made me want to scream for more as we pressed up against each other and made out for what seemed like forever. It no longer mattered that I still liked girls, the ones I used to love were now gone. Mia, Darcy, and Emma; they meant nothing now; all that mattered was this moment that I wished could last forever, and it would. There'd be thousands of other moments like this, and they wouldn't stop. Well, they would stop literally because Riley and I needed to part so we could both breathe.

"Not bad for your first time kissing a guy, All-Star." Riley complemented, with a smile on his face.

"Thanks. Can we keep doing this in the long run?" I asked, putting my arm around him.

"We can do so much more than this. We should wait until you're ready though." He replied as he held me in his arms.

"Well, it's not like I'm a virgin. Oh, wait; I am in this case, aren't I?" I asked, blushing at my naivety.

"You definitely are a virgin. Sleeping with a guy is very different from sleeping with a girl. So right now, consider yourself a born again virgin until you're all mine." He said, with a flirtatious but sweet smile.

I laughed, thinking about how Darcy believed we could all be born-again virgins as I kissed Riley again. Who knew loving Riley Stavros could be the best thing that ever happened to me?

End.


End file.
